My father answered the Lord’s home calling on December 16 after spending 77 years on earth. From the day that he became a Christian and dedicated his life, he faithfully walked and served his Savior for 55 years. For most of you, he is known as your pastor, spiritual mentor or co-worker in Christ. However, he and I had a relationship that is unique. For 50 years, he was my father and for the last 16 years, grandfather to my children, Jocelyn and Derek. Though as adult, my family was often separated from him by wide geographic distance and we did not share our lives together under one household, my appreciation and love for him is nevertheless no less than those of you who have been shepherded and touched by him in the last 30 plus years. That is because I had the opportunity to know him before he became a well-known pastor. Furthermore, I had the precious opportunity to observe how he lived the last 10 days of his earthly life. For the next few minutes, I would like to share with you some lessons he taught me throughout my life.

By the time I married Eugenia in 1983, my mother had already passed away more than 2 years. Neither before nor after my marriage did my father ever discuss with me on how to be a good husband. However, the relationship between him and my mother was imprinted as a role model on my mind early on. He always treated my mother with respect and I don’t ever remember a raised voice or coarse word between them. Helping out with housework was never too lowly for him. Even though preaching took him away from home often, he always made sure that things were left organized during his absence so that my mom did not have to worry or to take on added responsibilities. In the past week while sorting through his belongings, I had a chance to read some of the letters he wrote my mom while he was on the road. The letters expressed full dedication and love for my mom that did not require romantic words. He shared his inner thoughts and it is obvious they were united as one. When my mother passed away, he lost a great partner and co-worker. Remarriage was an option that I supported and he had many capable prospects even into his 70’s. A new partner that can share his ministry joys, sorrows, and emotional needs, could have reduced some of his burdens and perhaps made his life much easier. Nevertheless, he was determined to remain faithful to my mom and took on some of the roles of a pastor’s wife as well. Through the example of my father, I learned how to be a good and faithful husband.

Frugality is a well-known characteristic of my father and a frequent joke in our family. Nothing should go to waste was his motto. Water used to wash vegetable is used to water plants. Gift-wrappings are recycled. Leftover food, even if moldy, could be salvaged and he will be the first and only one willing to eat it even if others are unwilling. Extra napkins given at McDonalds are kept in the pocket for use as Kleenex. Even when he was too ill to eat during his hospitalization, he made sure that the napkin was removed for later use when the untouched food tray was returned to the kitchen. Despite his frugality, he was not stingy. Instead, he was generous and hospitable. If he is not away preaching, single people and those away from home can always expect a sumptuous meal at his home during holiday seasons. People who are in financial need are targets of his generosity. He would provide financial gifts or interest free loans to those who are in need without being asked. He kept no records of personal loans and would not pursuit the matter if the loan was not repaid. Through his generosity, several individuals and ministries, particular those within China received support with little publicity.

The biggest and most important lesson he taught me is faith and commitment to God. As many of you know, the 50’s and early 60’s were difficult decades for our family. Despite the persecution and odds against him, he was sure of what was hoped for and certain of what could not be seen (Hebrew 11:1). His faith was not a psychological crutch used to numb reality. But that the true reality is already realized in Christ and His promises even though it could not yet be seen with physical eyes. That assurance was not just in the mind but most importantly reflected in the way he acted. I don’t have any memories from those formative years of him panicking or worrying. Though I have doubted God’s promises due to my own lack of faith, it was never a result of what he said or did. As a result of his example and my own personal experience, I can truly said that our God can be trusted and that He has prepared for those who love him what the eye has not seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived (I Corith. 2:9). During the last few agonizing days of his life, I once again witness his unfaltering faith in his Lord and Savior. On the early morning of Dec. 13, his left lung collapsed. Thinking that he was soon to be taken into glory, he wrote the words of encouragement that is printed in your program. The words were full of thanksgiving and contained no hints of the great suffering he was experiencing at the time. During the wee hours of December 14 while experiencing severe shortness of breath, he called me over and said “I am conducting an experiment on death”. I was quite confused by his statement and in my research trained curiosity I asked him in return, “What is the purpose and result of this experiment”? Since he did not answer me immediately, I just assumed that he might have been sleep deprived or confused. However 30 minutes later, he called me over again and said, “Here is the answer”. “For my sin, the Lord drank fully the bitter cup of death. Relying on Him, I can share in the tasting of this bitter cup. What does this taste like? It contains suffering. However it is also full of hope and void of fear.” I was in tears realizing the pain he was suffering. At the same time, his words and action once again reminded me of the great faith he has in Jesus despite the circumstances.

The day after he passed away, I found a cassette tape containing his favorite hymns, arranged and recorded by Michelle Lin in the order he liked. I was quite taken aback by the list. For someone who has served God so many years and accomplished so much, the list was surprisingly simple. On the tape was “Jesus Loves Me This I know”, “This is my father’s world”, songs sang often by children. In addition, “The Lord is my shepherd”, “God will take of you”, “Does Jesus Care?”, “He hideth my soul”, “I need thee every hour”, “What a friend we have in Jesus”. To me the common theme weaving through his favorite hymns is a child who is fully relying on God. What a man and father! Despite his age, experience, accomplishments and reputation, his heart and faith for the Lord is that of an innocent child! At that moment I grasp the meaning of “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God”. Now when I sing the song “Give Thanks”, I know the true meaning of “Let the weak say I am strong. Let the poor say I am rich”. Using his life and not words, he demonstrated to me how we can be strong and rich through faith and dependence on Jesus. My father had said on numerous occasions that the most wonderful thing on earth for a Christian is to live a life that is a sermon. I am thankful and privileged to have seen that sermon during his dying days and even after his departure.

This afternoon as we gathered together to celebrate his life, it is natural to pour out emotions and dwell on the sentimental. However, I hope we can go beyond that by using this occasion to dedicate our lives and renew our commitment to God. I think this is what pastor Chiu is saying to us as well. For those of you who do not know Jesus as your personal savior, I hope you will consider why Jesus is so worth following and why He can be your friend and savior as He has for my father. What better way to celebrate my father’s death than to use the same occasion to celebrate a new birth in God’s family?

Now I will spend a few minutes to give an accounting of my father’s illness and hospitalization. My father was diagnosed with late stage lung cancer in September. When we saw the specialists at Stanford, he was told that treatment would not lead to cure. However the cancer could be controlled and that given his excellent health at the time, he should respond well. He questioned whether treatment was worthwhile given that there is little hope for cure. The specialists and I assured him that it was worth a try as there is good chance of continued productive years after a period of intense treatment. He began combined chemo and radiation therapy in the beginning of November and did not encounter any of the expected reactions and complications during the first 4 weeks. He celebrated Thanksgiving with family and friends and was of good spirit though tired. In the beginning of December, he started complaining of increasing shortness of breath. The doctors performed many tests because they were concerned with activation of his old tuberculosis or other infections. Oxygen was started at home without much relief. By the weekend of December 5, he began to have low-grade fevers. The breathing problem was severe enough that he was finally admitted to Washington hospital on the afternoon of Dec. 7. The initial diagnosis was pneumonia to the left lung, the same lung where the cancer is located. With antibiotics his fever resolved and his breathing at rest improved. However, he was still short of breath whenever he moved around. By Wednesday Dec. 10, his physicians felt that he had recovered sufficiently to consider discharge within the next 1-2 days. They also wanted to give him some time in the hospital so as to qualify for home oxygen treatment. On Thursday, December 11, he awoke in very good spirit and completed most of his breakfast. In preparation for eventual discharge and to prevent any complications from lying in bed for too long, I helped him out of bed to sit in a chair. While sitting in the chair, it became apparent that he was getting increasingly short of breath. This worsened to the point that he was breathing over 40 times per minute. The oxygen level in his blood also fell to such a low point that he required 100% oxygen. It was later determined that a blood clot had embolized to his right lung, his only remaining good lung. As a result, the lung’s ability to exchange oxygen was severely compromised. Because of his critical condition, he was transferred to the ICU. My father even before his illness had always insisted that in the event of illness, he does not want any mechanical resuscitation. As a result, he was not put on a respirator during his stay in the ICU. Mentally I was prepared for his departure, as his ability to breathe so fast without mechanical assistance will eventually fade. Furthermore, his heart was at great risk for a heart attack because of prolonged oxygen deprivation. I thank God that He allowed my father to stabilize and to extend his time on earth so that my wife and his grandchildren can come in time from Maryland for him to see them for one last time. By Saturday, December 13, he was transferred to a regular ward and continued to have significant breathing problem as I had described earlier. During this whole time, his mind remained clear. We asked him what he was doing during his moment of silence. He said he was meditating on the words of the scripture and Our Daily Bread that we had read him. He was also confessing his sins and praying for his family and the church. By Monday December 15, it was obvious that he was getting tired and his collapsed left lung was not going to re-expand. With his agreement, we made sure that he was made comfortable and prayed to God earnestly that he be allowed to rest in God’s presence. God was merciful and allowed him to enter a deep sleep and he eventually entered God’s presence peacefully at 9:30 pm on December 16.

My father is known for not wanting to trouble others and thinking of others first. Even when he was transferred to the ICU, he told me that my family should not come, as it will pain them and be too disruptive to the children’s schoolwork. He also said that it is too much trouble for the congregation to visit him at the hospital. Since my father is also known for not being able to say no, whenever visitors came, he will always try to say something to encourage them. However, this took lots of effort and was contributing to his breathing difficulties. Eventually I made the difficult decision of blocking all visitors except for family members, pastors and close family friends. Through out my father’s life, most of the holiday seasons were reserved for speaking engagements. Seldom was he home to enjoy time with his family. A year ago, I arranged and had him agree to spend this Christmas with us in Maryland. For some reason, by this summer, he had agreed to speak at a conference instead. When he was diagnosed with cancer, we immediately made reservations to spend Christmas and New Year with him in California. But that is not to be. With that background, I hope you can accept my apology and understand the reasons for my selfish decision for keeping the last 10 precious days of my father’s life a private and intimate experience. I want to assure you that we informed him of every call and card received. In honor of my father’s wishes of no public viewing, we had a small family worship service on the morning of December 18 prior to his cremation. Following another praise and remember service in Boston on January 3, 2004, my father will be buried next to my mother at Puritan Lawn Memorial Park in Peabody Mass.

Finally, I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude. First and foremost I would like to thank my cousin Rona Ma and her husband, Simon Chang for taking care of my father for over 20 years. They provided him with what a son should be doing and allowed him to experience family life in his latter years.

Next I would like to thank my wife Eugenia and my children Jocelyn and Derek for their support and helping me see the positives of my father’s passing. Derek and Jocelyn, the last few weeks have been extremely difficult for you and I am proud that you two have proven strong in the Lord. It is unfortunate that you did not have a chance to know your grandfather longer and deeper. I do pray that I will be able to pass on to you some of great lessons of life and faith that I learned from him. I also hope that the sharing and memories of the people here today will also help you understand and fill in the missing pieces of grandpa for which you were not able to experience first hand.

To the members of Hayward, Tri-valley and Danville Churches, both Rona and I want to express our sincerest thanks for your treatment advises, prayers and food for pastor Chiu and his extended family. Special thanks to the numerous individuals who organized this service on such short notice and during a time when you are all busy with family. To the out of town guest, church leaders and pastors, thank you for taking the time to come so far to honor and celebrate my father’s life. Thanks to the staff of Washington Hospital and his physicians, in particular Drs. Khalid Baig and Jason Chu for their excellent care. Time does not permit me to mention each of you individually. Please be assured that we will always remember your love and care for pastor Chiu.

In closing, I have a personal request to the members of Hayward, Tri-valley and Danville churches. What I am about to say has not been discussed with or known to Pastor Jay Huang and Jack Chang. My father was an exceptional pastor with many gifts and has been an exceptional shepherd. But as a redeemed sinner, he also has his shortcomings. We should all strive to emulate him in following and serving Christ. But please do not set him as the standard by which to measure your current and future pastors. If current and future pastors have shortcomings, please offer constructive suggestions but please do not criticize by comparison. Thank you for giving me this time and once again, please accept my apology if anything I said is too direct or offends you.

(本文為焦源濂牧師愛子焦雋醫生在“讚美主，懷念他”聚會上的分享)